THE YEAR'S BEST . .. (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Whaaat??

Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

Juvenile Court to Try
Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War! Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!


Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]


Man Struck By Lightning:
Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Taste like chicken?


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


Hospitals are Sued by
7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that sign right?

Why do they have to start the crap??

Some of you know I'm going to WA state this weekend for my son's middle daughter's Quinciniera. This is a very big deal for her, as the Mexican culture celebrates a girl's 15th birthday as her transition into womanhood. It is a very formal and wonderful event, with lots of food and dancing and family stuff.

So my ex husband and his wifey dear live near my son and his family, so I had anticipated having to deal with them this weekend. Maybe I had underestimated the hassles.

My ex and I split up over 20 years ago. He and she have been married ever since the divorce was final. All I can guess is that I must be a very real threat to her, because she has started crap already.

Seems her son is returning from Iraq this weekend, and there is a big celebratory dinner in his honor Friday night at their house. So my son and his family weren't included because I was going to be there. The ex husband's wifey dear decided I might make some kind of trouble, so didn't invite my son and family. My son was very upset about this, and let his dad know. So it turns out that we will be going to the dinner right after I get picked up at the airport.

My question, and the reason I'm really pissed about this, is why would she make a big deal out of it anyway??? I have never "swooped in on my broom" and ripped anyone's heart out, and I don't plan to start now. I'm going for this visit to see my son and his family, and I love them dearly. That's it. Nothing else in mind. Certainly no plans to cut the woman's throat.

Am I really such a threat to her that she has to cause problems before I even get there?????

Wow. Such power I must have!!!!

Frankie

Subject: TOP 7 MORONS OF 2006


TOP 7 MORONS OF 2006

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.



2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".




6. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

7. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Boy, I just noticed the date on my last post, and I didn't realize it had been so long since I had been here!!

So tonight I have another story about work to share here.

When the trucks are getting loaded at the shovels, there can be any number of "incidents" that damage a truck. The bucket of the shovel can trip open early and hit the bed of the truck, rocks can come off over the "headache rack" and break or damage something on the truck, the truck can back into the shovel. Just lots of things.

So tonight at work, a guy I'll call John was driving a truck and while loading at a shovel, a rock fell off the headache rack and knocked off part of the safety rail on the catwalk of the truck. The driver SHOULD have reported it right then, and had the foreman check it out. Instead, the driver waited until the end of the shift and then asked to go to the weld shop to have the rail fixed.

Ok, major problems here:

1. The rail is part of the safety of the driver on the truck. MSHA, which is the mining part of OSHA, says that if the safety equipment is damaged or absent the truck is not to be driven at all.

2. When there is an incident, no matter how minor the damage, it should be reported and checked out RIGHT THEN. If the equipment is safe to operate, the foreman says it's ok and life goes on as usual.

3. When an incident happens, the people involved need to give the foreman all the appropriate information in a businesslike manner.

So the driver of the truck, John, didn't report it right away, didn't have the safety rail replaced, and when asked what happened to the truck, his reply was "A meteorite hit the rail." His rationale for this remark was that a "rock fell from the sky" and hit the rail on the truck.

After work, the foreman was really pissed, and decided to do a drug and alcohol screen on the driver. The driver was really pissed until the "quick test" came back positive for THC. Of course, the quick tests aren't all that accurate, but it sure seemed fishy.

So as the Union Steward, I had to be present to make sure the test was done right. Then I had to be present when the foreman told the driver that he can't return to work until they get the test results back from the lab.

Yee Haw. I love being a shop steward. (NOT)

As some of you know, I drive a "monster truck" at work. It's literally the size of a house. The tires are 12 feet tall. The cab of the truck sits about 20 feet up, and it weighs over a million pounds when loaded.

Anyway, keep in mind the size of the trucks we are talking about here.

Today, I almost had another truck run into me. I was loaded, going uphill at about 5 MPH, and the other truck was coming downhill, empty. The ramp was wet from the water truck doing the "dust control" thing, and the driver was a trainee. Thank God she had a very experienced driver with her!!

The other truck started sliding, because of going too fast on the wet surface, and came within about 5 feet of hitting me. I stopped on the uphill ramp, and waited for the impact.

Fortunately, the experienced driver grabbed the wheel in the truck coming toward me and whipped it the other way so the truck veered away from me at the last second.

My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe for a minute or so. It was truly the worst moment I have had in my 2 1/2 years at the mine.

The trainee is ok now, and has learned what NOT to do in a slide, and also what she should have done. Thank God she was with an experienced driver who knew what to do.

In the time I have worked at the mine, I have slid sideways downhill, I have had several close calls in lots of ways, but this is the first one that really scared me. I could see the eyes of the people in the other truck, they were that close to me. There was an 80 foot drop on the other side of a 10 foot berm from where I was.

Not the best day I've ever had.

Frankie